Filed under marketing
I don’t have kids yet, but I’ve had the occasional “how to raise kids” discussion with various friends and acquaintances. And I guess I’m the AntiChrist of modern times, for I plan to spank my kids. My parents spanked me maybe 5-10 times total during my childhood (oh, and add one hell of a good slap across the face by my mom when I was 15) - always as a last resort. But you know what? I bet I deserved every damned one of them.
But spanking and other forms of letting your kids know when they’ve fucked up has been replaced over the last 20-25 years. Now it’s all about positive reinforcement, rationalizing with your child and, if they’ve really been bad, a “timeout”. To all you child psychologists out there, I would at this time like to say “thank you”. Thank you for giving us a generation of narcissistic pussies.
Childhood in recent decades has been defined by such stroking — …by soccer coaches who give every player a trophy, by schools that used to name one “student of the month” and these days name 40….
the culture of praise is reaching deeply into the adult world. Bosses, professors and mates are feeling the need to lavish praise on young adults, particularly twentysomethings, or else see them wither under an unfamiliar compliment deficit.
Employers are dishing out kudos to workers for little more than showing up.
Paris, used to her parents’ discipline,
had to be pried off the wall from her self-imposed
“timeout” and ushered into the squad car
I’m sure our grandparents are rolling in their graves. Again from the article: “the Scooter Store Inc… has a staff “celebrations assistant” whose job it is to throw confetti — 25 pounds a week — at employees”. I mean, can you believe this shit? I have witnessed this trend with my own eyes. My last place of employment had “Raving Fan” awards, wherein workers filled out little slips of paper telling a coworker how much they kicked ass. After months of refusing to participate, I was actually pulled into the office by my boss and “put on a plan” to up my Raving Fan output. I felt like I was in that scene from Office Space and being told to wear more flair.
So, to the point of my longwindedness. Marketing is all about trying to find the push buttons of particular demographics. Beer-drinking, football-on-Sundays guys are motivated by a Hemi; soccer moms, with airbags.
Well, you now have your trigger for the “Most Pansified Generation”. To hell with features, financing options, etc. Just make sure you tell them how truly special and unique they are! And stock up on the confetti.
