A man is suing Novartis AG - the makers of the meal replacement beverage, Boost Plus - for giving him an erection that wouldn’t go down. The CEO of Novartis could not immediately be reached for comment, as he was too busy tap-dancing and shouting with childish glee through the halls of their corporate headquarters.
Said Novartis’s new spokesman, ‘Bob’: “We are truly shocked and sorry that our inexpensive, nutritious beverage has been found to cause rock hard, long-lasting erections. With all the money and research that has gone into prescription drugs such as Viagra, how could we have possibly predicted that we had made a drink that, at a fraction of the cost of Viagra and availabe without a prescription, could lead to massive hard-ons that can go all night? Trust me when I say that an investigation has been initiated to determine exactly where we took such a wrong turn that I must stand humbly before you today and admit that, for $1.99 at your grocery store down the street, you can purchase a low-calorie drink that tastes like chocolate milk, is highly nutritious, and will leave your wife or girlfriend screaming in delight and begging for mercy.”
Sometimes, figuring out how to market a product is a near-impossible task, full of meetings, focus group studies, powerpoint slides, conference calls, cocaine-fueled afterhours parties with the strippers you and the client met that night… Excel spreadsheets. And then other times, the marketing just pops into your lap. So to speak. So to the R&D department at Novartis: Well done, mates. Well done.
August 16th, 2007 at 6:15 pm
I couldn’t understand some parts of this article , but I guess I just need to check some more resources regarding this, because it sounds interesting.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:49 am
What parts did you not understand?
March 17th, 2008 at 8:21 am
Okay, I’ve been home sick for about a week now with the worst upper respiratory infection I’ve ever had (I’m not going to the hospital until it’s pneumonia- that place is FULL of sick people…) and you make me laugh so hard that I wheeze!