Congratulations to Ben Silverman, recently appointed Head of NBC Entertainment.  I just read an Esquire article, wherein Mr. Silverman proceeded to bend over and suck his own dick at every possible opportunity, while disparaging various colleagues.  A couple gems:

Silverman has his enemies, but he attributes his quick ascent at least in part to his wide network of friends. He boasts that he has completely merged his personal and professional lives. "Having relationships with talent is key. I like actors, writers, and directors — they’re people I want to hang out with. They read, they’re cultured, they travel. None of the other network heads do this."  (yes.. they’re busy kicking your ass)

Tonight’s massive schmoozefest is ideally tailored to Silverman… But Ben Silverman is unimpressed. "This is nothing, man… last night…" He’s referring to the private gathering he hosted with some nightclub promoters at a mansion in the Hollywood Hills…The formal party featured bikini-clad girls dancing on rafts in the pool, the Hilton sisters, and a caged white tiger in the entryway. "It was sick," says Silverman, who greeted his six hundred guests in a silver Dolce & Gabbana suit and shut the place down around 5:30 a.m. "You looked around and saw so many beautiful women. But then you looked closer and it’s like, Hey, that’s Molly Sims. See what I mean? Just a totally sick party."

"The industry hasn’t seen an executive like me in a long time," Silverman says. "Traditionally, development executives rise through a specific subsection of the TV business — prime time, network, scripted programming. They’re basically D-girls," he says, using the derogatory industry slang for cute young development execs with little power. "That’s what [ABC Entertainment president] Steve McPherson is, that’s what [Fox Entertainment president] Kevin Reilly is. That’s bad vernacular, but they’re all D-girls."

Contrast this bravado with an article sent to me this morning, how NBC is refunding advertisers for uncharacteristically shitty ratings performance.  Keep in mind that NBC has been sucking the bottom of the big network pond for a little while now, so for them to be sucking in a new, uncharacteristic way, well that’s some tip-top management there!  Good job, Ben. In an environment where industry insiders already expect you to suck, you have over-achieved and found a way that completely caught ‘em all off guard!

Ben, quick tip:  talking the way you talk makes you a fucking dick.  Even if your network was far and away #1, you’re still a dick. So, well done on that one.  However, when you talk the way you talk - what with your "complete merging of personal and professional lives" and your rival "D-girls" - while your network sits in last place, sucking the tail-pipes of the other networks… well, Ben, that just makes you look like a fool and a Schmuck*.

*Shmuck:  That portion of one’s penis which is cut off during circumcision,a Yiddish term.  You’re already a dick, Ben.  And if you don’t fix your shit, be assured they’ll be throwing you away just like your namesake.

Just saw this ad last night for the first time and had to watch it a few times.  I’m not even sure what the hell it’s for!  Something for EA sports games on the Wii called "Family Play".  Is this simply multi-player functionality?

Anyway, confusion of what’s being sold aside, the commercial is stellar.  Kudos on the authenticity of the "NFL Films announcer guy", and for a great acting job by the grandma.  I absolutely hate ads where they try to use cute babies to push product, but for some reason I love it when they use cute ol’ grannies.  I prefer to have logical consistency in most things… haven’t sorted this one out yet.  Any hypotheses are welcome. :)

Been a busy week, yo!  Sorry for not keeping up.  I’m still a bit taxed, but thought I’d at least draw your attention to something I’ve been having a laugh at over at DHADM.  Not the commercial.  The ad is from the "Verizon Wireless Slightly Annoying Nerd" series, and (as is typical of that entire campaign) is a yawner.

But my GAWD, the comments section!  People are going absolutely chimp-shit (why should apes get all the glory?) over the use of the miniature pony in the ad.  A couple gems:

The American Miniature Horse in this commercial is not a good representation of the breed….Our horse rides in elevators in nursing homes, has ridden in our Jeep Cherokee to get to her events and has been called the ambassador to the miniature horse breed….  -DJ Pullis

 

….DJ do quit taking yourself so seriously.  BTW, I’m in the market for a miniature horse and your farm is now off the list.  -Skeeziks

 

This add is not funny or entertaining…..Even a dog should not be confined by a rope or chain.  The thought that a horse would be confined in this mannner is ludicrous!  It sets an ignorant tone for the amazing American Miniature Horse.   -Peggy L Price

 

Mini or not, it is not safe to put a reasonably large equid inside a vehicle.  -Skeeziks  (glad you told me this before this weekend, Skeeziks!)

 

When a kid with cancer who has lost all her hair can run up to a mini and just give it a hug around its neck and the mini accepts it quietly with patience and love, you know something special is happening.   When a student who is struggling with learning disabilities and his/her social skills opens up because they touched a miniature horse, you never know how far the student will go from there….  -DJ Pullis

 

This is a terrible commercial. When you let a miniature horse chew on things such as doghouses, it ruins the meat. Minihorse meat is DELICIOUS, especially when prepared “traditional” style with an apple glaze.   - ok, this one was me. :)

People, don’t deprive yourself 5 minutes of laughs at the expense of these goobers (myself included in said goobers).  Oh and in case you’ve never seen it, the best Verizon commercial EVER never made it to TV.