Yeah, y’all are some crazy bitches!  I mean that in the most endearing of ways, of course. :)  I know that I am a smart ass, and sometimes a flat-out dick on this blog.  So, crazy bitches, I love ya.

First, a little back-story.  Clear last July, I posted an article on a little something called Silpada jewelry.  It’s basically a multi-level-marketing deal where women (and, I guess, a few fully emasculated men) throw parties in which their friends come over and are coerced into buying silver, turquoise, and coral products of debatable fashion sense.  Yes, ladies, I’m going to continue rattling those cages - deal with it.

Anyway, I wrote the post with a bit of a point to make but mostly in good fun, as should be evident by the mention of vampires and "gays and shrimp".  And further, I didn’t expect that many people to read the damn thing.  But lo and behold, the higher-ups at Silpada Hive Central must have search engine optimization skills that are directly proportional to their taste in jewelry - my tiny blog climbed to #3 on the search term, "Silpada"!

So, I now have loads of women searching for "Silpada" in Google and hitting my site.  And probably a few men - if you are one of those men, allow me to suggest you rummage through your wife’s purse and see if you can’t find your balls that she’s obviously taken from you.  Now, it’s not enough that these women and quasi-men are hitting my site.  Oh no, I’m really pissing some of them off and, by God, they’re going to tell me about it!  I believe we’re around 160 comments at present.  The subject matter has ranged from discussions on Silpada silver quality, to civic duty, to questions into my sexual preference, to the Hawaiian Monk Seal.. and most recently a war between the Lia Sophia and Silpada MLM Jewelry camps.

I highly recommend going through the comments section for a good laugh sometime.  But to the point:  lately there’s been a bit of a cat fight.  Pretty much in good fun, but ya know, once a woman accuses another woman of being 500 lbs…well, the silver medallions and Wilma Flintstone necklaces come off!  It’s a throw-down!  So, I had the two ladies at war send me pics to prove their lack of 500 pound-ness.

I will confess to the assumption that no women of Silpada could have any sex appeal (well, at least for a shallow Hal like me that chases younger women with rockin’ bodies).  But alas, a commenter by the name of Christy has "reprazented"!  Very hot indeed.  If she gives permission, I’ll let you all see for yourself.

The Lia Sophia side has produced their own champion, in a girl named "Mystery" (name not to be confused with that douchebag on that Pickup Artist show).  However!  As Mystery has herself admitted, she is not a rep for Lia Sophia!  Her mother is!  So, I must disqualify her as an official "Lia Sophia model".

So we have two dilemmas - on the Silpada side, I’m still thinking Christy’s hotness was just a turn of luck for the Silpada camp.  And as for Lia Sophia, they are still unrepresented.  Mystery represented well, but I simply can’t accept the entry if she’s not a rep.

So, will anyone accept the call to arms?  Many women on this blog have talked tough on their jewelry decisions, but few have actually put forth proof!  Pick your side, put on your favorite jewelry pieces, and send a pic! (”Contact the Author” at the bottom of this page)  Preferably in a state of partial-to-full nakedness. (I’m kidding!  I’m kidding!**).  If I get enough entries, I’ll create "Women of Silpada" and "Women of Lia Sophia" calendars.  Profits will go toward breast cancer research….and ball retrieval services for the men (men: no picture send-ins necessary, thank you).

**not really.. that would be awesome.