Nothing on the Adscape today, peoples.  But I thought I’d post a couple "food for thought" videos.  Some coworkers and I were discussing having kids this morning (well, not actually having the kids this morning… and not with each other obviously….you know what I meant).  I told him I plan on having 3 or 4, which was a shocker to him.  Seemed like such a big family.  And that illustrates a theory I’ve had for quite awhile - that the human race is getting dumber.  Think about it - I’m 33, good job, believe in proper fitness, educated and all that.  No kids yet.  My coworker is 23ish, so plenty of time there.  Smart, good job, etc.  Three or four kids seems outrageous to him.  Sounds like he’s going for 0-2.  Meanwhile, the lowest socioeconomic classes are popping out babies like there’s no tomorrow.  Smart people are being outbred!

I’ve harbored this notion for quite some time.  And it turns out I’m not the only one.  Check out a great vid from one of my favorite bands - Evolution by Korn.  And then a clip from the movie, Idiocracy, demonstrating the same point.

So, yeah, that’s why I’m having 4 kids.  Hell, maybe even more.  Until sterilization programs* are back in place, the smart people of the world must unite (in the biblical sense)!

Have a good weekend!

*Calm down!  Just temporary sterility.  If you can’t afford to properly raise a child, you shouldn’t be allowed to have one.

A “tip of the hat and wag of the finger” (as Stephen Colbert would say) to Heineken’s new DraughtKeg ad with the robot girl dispensing beer.  First, the accolades:  this commercial has all the right stuff - a nice cold keg of good (well, decent) beer, techno music, eery lighting effects, and a hot robot chick that can turn herself into multiple hot robot chicks… Heineken just did a 30 second trailer for my ideal wedding night!

Which is why I got a bit pissed at Heineken when I got to the liquor store.  Turns out, they are only selling the keg part of the whole robot girl contraption.  This is false advertising!  Heineken, listen up:  send me my self-replicating hot techno robot bride or you’ll be hearing from my lawyers.

Sorry, kids.  This work week’s been a bit taxing so I haven’t been able to give Adchops the love.  But here’s a vid that’s hopefully worth the wait and will get you pumped for your weekend (for those of you with a pulse, that is) - it’s Rabbit in the Moon’s remix of Bowie’s “Let’s Dance”.

The song isn’t really exploring any new boundaries musically - it’s kind of a Bowie/Rage Against The Machine/early Depeche Mode/Prodigy electro-industrial mashup (yeah, that commenter is me.. I’m not plagiarizing!).  But my god does it get your blood going!

Why am I posting this on Adchops, you ask?  Well, there is one novelty to it - electronica propaganda (propaganda, marketing…same diff).  Unlike rock n roll which is saturated with “message music”, electronic music has pretty much stayed out of the fray.  You’ve got your house music that’s meant to get you in a happy, party mood.  Trance is your “take some drugs and feeeel the music” music.  Industrial and much of techno are your “I am reeeeally pissed right now, but I am still going to dance!” music.  But not much has been done along the lines of social or political commentary.

Rabbit in the Moon is definitely bringing it, as you can see in the vid.  They’ve long been known for their spectacle, so I suppose this is to be expected in their evolution.  Ok, enough of my yammering.. enjoy the vid!

Oh, and their site kicks a lot of ass too! 

I really don’t know what to make of this video at GoAwayParis.com.  It could be that one day, this guy decided, “Wow, sure seems a lot of people can’t stand Paris Hilton.  What a ridiculous thing to spend one’s time dwelling on.  I bet I can take a piss and make a fortune by starting a ‘campaign’, making a video, and selling these idiots cheap stickers and t-shirts!”  Roll cameras!

Alternatively, this guy could be one of the fucking idiots using up all his activist points in this bullshit endeavor.  He’s either a brilliant opportunist parting fools from their money, or he is kind of a douche.

Cast your vote in Comments section!  As for me, the black stocking cap and general gravitas of the song is tilting my vote toward “douche”.

Thanks to Cindy for the link.

As is often the case after posting something up here, after the MC Hammer post I kinda wandered off on a bunch of web tangents of a Hammer nature - I believe the kids today are calling it “web surfing”.  Yep, I must have spent a good hour that I will never get back, just answering all those burning questions like “What’s Hammer up to now?”, “How does that Vanilla Ice dance go, so I can impress random bar patrons with it the next time I’m drunk?”, “How do I find the center of a circle?” (I will always be a nerd at heart), “Does MC Hammer have a blog?”  The answer to the last one? Yes!

Every time you see me
The Hammer’s just so hype!
I’m dope on the blog
and I’m magic when I type
Can’t touch this!
Can’t touch this!
HammerBlog! (whoa-oh oh oh-oh  -oh you get the idea)

I am the best rapper ever, I know.  Hammer, if you’re reading this, I challenge you to a blog rap-off!  A friend of mine commented on the last post that I had Hammer pants in high school (Lies!  All lies! :) ), so since I’ve been outed, I guess I need to take this all the way. 

As far as I can tell, the Hammer blog is pretty much him searching YouTube for videos that are in some way Hammer-related, or videos of musicians he likes.  In a bit of grand irony, despite his rap career, Hammer is a man of few words on his blog.  And since I ramble on forever about stupid shit, he’s totally getting spanked in this blog-off.

Anyway, be sure to check out this one from his blog.  A bunch of Taiwanese kids learning English by singing “Can’t Touch This”.  I hate sappy shit - the propensity of cat pictures on the web enrages me to no end - but goddamn these kids are adorable!

Brilliant ad by Hallmark for their new Cards With Sound series (the ”tv ad” department did a much better job than the “name this card campaign” department, don’t you think?)  - cards that have clips of popular music play when you open them (as opposed to the bleepy Casio-like cards that were so fucking annoying).

I just crack up every time I see this guy.  They would have been hard-pressed to find a guy that looked less able to pull off Hammer moves (links to original vid.. you know you want to see it again!), yet execute them so flawlessly.

This ad especially resonates with me on a personal level, as it reminds me of the “concert I’m most embarassed I went to”.  Come on.. we all have one!  Get this line-up:  MC Hammer with openers En Vogue and… (wait for it!).. Vanilla-fucking-Ice!  Yes! En Vogue can sing, and Hammer puts on a great show, so I will defend them to this day, but I got nothing for Ice. Stupidity of youth?

Quick tip to Hallmark: if you’re going to spend a lot of money and effort promoting a new product, you might want to make a clickable link on the front page of your website instead of making me conjure the fat ghost of Perry Mason to figure out where to order a damn “card with sound”.  Oh, and have them in stock. Oh, and have more than 5 to pick from

Come to think of it, Hallmark is really fucking up this campaign! But great commercial, guys.

Yeah, I’m on a “music from my youth” kick.  Get over it!  I realize Mother’s Day was last Sunday (and if you are just realizing this, please record the next conversation with your mom so I can post it), but I had to point out this Sears ad..

As we’ve already covered, ad execs are now reaching into the early 80s for music to put to their commercials.  Here’s yet another one - Wendy’s use of the Violent Femmes’ “Blister in the Sun”

Here’s the latest ad for the Saturn Aura.  Recognize that song?  You probably do if you’re 30-something, being that it’s from the Muppets.. and who of that age group didn’t watch the Muppets?  Hell, I’d still watch them if they were on.

I have to wonder, though - why turn it into elevator music?  What were you thinking?

A few posts ago I mentioned how much I hate hearing my favorite music used in commercials. However, I think I’ve found a compromise – remakes! The commercial gets their song, and the listener keeps the original untarnished in his mind.

One of my favorite new (well, newish) bands is The Knife (links to original song, remade for ad) – very original sound, haunting vocals, great use of electronic elements to create some beautiful, chilling stuff. So you’re an ad guy – you really love this song, but it’s just not palatable for prime time. What to do? Give it to an acoustic guitarist so he can turn it into a James Blunt B-side! Have a look at this ad for a Sony Hi-Def television – you can barely recognize the song, so profoundly has the soul and innovation been sucked out of it. But, people that can afford hi-def TVs like to “scrapbook” and listen to pretty guitars, not tweaked out Swedish electronica. The boring, talentless version is waaay more appropriate for the ad than the original.

Win, win! And the “avant garde” artists themselves will be more willing to do a deal if they know their work will be butchered into something unrecognizable to their fans. Don’t take my word for it:

The Knife wrote Heartbeats, the song covered to achey-breaky affect by fellow Swede José Gonzales in the Sony Bravia ‘bouncing balls’ commercial. Yes, say The Knife, they had to think hard about allowing their music to be used to sell stuff. ‘It’s the first time we’ve said to yes to a thing like that,’ says Karin. ‘The only reason we thought it was OK was it wasn’t us performing.