Pretty simple concept, but pretty damned funny anyway.. here’s a recent ad for PostBank. 

I think it came out about 8 months ago actually, but I’m sure most of you haven’t seen it yet if you’re a fellow Yank.  Given the subprimes and derivatives mess we’re in, it’s oh so a-propos!

Kudos to the marketers for Always Maxis, and their latest ad.  I’m sure women just love having their vaginas likened to a large, potentially dangerous object in an amusement park.  Yes, what better metaphor than something whose sole purpose is to twist, turn, and flip upside-down, providing cheap thrills to the entire general public, who can ride 30-at-a-time… so long as they have the money for admission.  Well done, Always.  How about signing on Charlie the Tuna as spokesman while you’re at it?

Thanks to Stuart for the find.

Either this ad just hit the KC market within the last few weeks, or I really need to start being a good little consumer and watch more TV.  Check out the “Dirty-mouthed cheaters” ad for Orbit gum (thanks for being on this a full 3 months ago, Dhadm!)

I have to agree with DS, the way the homewrecker says “lint licker” in that backwoodsy, southern drawl is just hilarious to me for some reason.

This campaign is a real credit to Orbit.  As I’ve stated before, there are ads that are “on message” and ads that are entertaining or captivating, but nailing both of them in one spot can be tough.  Orbit’s on the money with funny, quirky ads that nevertheless remind us to keep a clean mouth.  Fabulous!  Which reminds me, am I the only one that finds the “fabulous”-girl totally smoking?

Sprint has some gorgeous new spots airing right now for their “Ahead” campaign.  Check out the post over at Transbuddha to see the spots and learn a little about how they were made.  Evidently it’s an art style called “lightning doodle”, which was invented by the owners of a site called Pika Pika (I wouldn’t bother visiting it - the site is pretty lacking in info/nav).  Not a whole lot of detail on the process there - something having to do with lights, stop-motion, long-exposure photography, and fetal pig blood… I think.

Anyway, Sprint has latched onto the art form and built a website (above pic) and tv spots around it.  Just another example of web virals bleeding over into traditional media.  Now, if Sprint just spent a little less time filming art fags* running around with flashlights in a park, and a bit more time on delivering good customer service and a reliable network.. why hell, they just have a product worth buying.

I live in KC - the world headquarters for Sprint, and I hear their coverage still sucks (I ditched them years ago).  I do not claim to have any expertise regarding mobile phone business strategy.  But christ, I would think that a mobile network provider would at least want to ensure near-perfect coverage in the city of their World F’ing Headquarters.  I mean come on, that’s just a matter of pride.  If I were to advertise myself as a master landscape artist, you’d better believe I’d have a goddamned Miagi garden in my backyard.  “Holy shit!  Is that an indoor/outdoor koi pond?!”  “Yep.  Here’s my card.”

Oh and while we’re at it, let’s have a look at the KC-local Sprint advertising (right).  “Oh, I get it!  Kansas City is known for barbecue and barbecue has lots of sauce on it and I live in Kansas City!  Sprint is really appealing to me as a Kansas Citian!  Sprint gets me!”  Fucking retards.  

* I dig artists.  I have gay friends.  But damn it, “art fag” is such a funny term to me.  So indulge me.

Okay, now that we’ve covered Washlet, let’s address those that don’t quite make it to the toilet.  Check out the latest ad for Serenity Male Guards.

This ad’s just too much.  I mean, you don’t even know what their advertising at first.. “Hmmm.. southern ‘Bad to the bone’-type music and a bike gang.. cool.. must be a Harley ad or something.  Wait a second.. that’s an old dude on that bike!  WTF?  ‘Bladder weakness’?!  Did the announcer just say “bladder weakness”?  What’s going on here?!  Now there’s a hot chick at a gas pump checking him out!  Run, girl!  He just pissed himself!  Is that a cod piece?  Huh?  Did he just pick up his grandkid while announcer guy’s talking about odor?  Jesus Christ, get me off this ride!”

I know what the company’s trying to do.  I get it.  I’m sure wetting your pants as an adult is an emasculating experience, and they want to downplay that vulnerability.  But come on!  You’re in a bike gang?  Don’t piss on me and tell me it’s raining, Grandpa!  No, seriously, Grandpa.  Don’t piss on me.

Drop the tough-guy act.  Instead, they should highlight the fact that the guy doesn’t yet need a full diaper.  “Serenity Male Guards - cuz hey, you haven’t shit your pants yet, right?  Things could be worse!”

Thanks to Stuart for the link.

I’m digging on the new series of spots by Burger King for their Western Whopper.  Here’s the “sorority blondes” one.

Burger King has just been rockin’ it for a couple years now with their advertising.  McDonald’s goes for gay-ass family-oriented stuff that is utterly tame - I’m trying to think of a McDonald’s spot right now and can’t come up with even one.  They are that forgettable.  Well, I guess they have the clown, but he’s just fucking creepy.  Does anyone else get a “pedophile vibe” from Ronald McDonald?  I expect Chris Hansen to walk in on those commercials at any moment.

Anyway, for awhile BK was lock-step with them - but then came The King!  He is one weird fucking dude, and the commercials have revolved around that weirdness.  And people love weird (well, I do, anyway).  The King, breaking tackles and rushing for the end zone.  The King, laying in your bed when you wake up, handing you a whopper.  The King, dancing a jig as people all over the country start growing handlebar moustaches.  Weird is good.  And memorable.  Stick with the King, BK!  I’m lovin’ it!  Umm, I mean..

Thanks (again!) to Stuart for sending the vid.

This post title is fucking annoying, isn’t it?  Seeing the word “shop” 10 times in a row?  Oh it gets worse.  Check out the flashy-light, schizophrenic, W.A.S.P.-dancing massive clusterfuck that is the new ad by Shopzilla.

I don’t know where to even start.  Ok, first, “Shopzilla”.  Shopzilla folks, even the very name of your company sucks.  It suckszilla.  See?  See how stupid putting “zilla” on the end of something is?  There is room for only one “zilla” on this planet, and that would obviously be the original: Godzilla.  I shall pray every morning for the sweet, sweet irony of Godzilla coming to your town and destroying your company headquarters.

Now, for the commercial.  I have covered music in ads quite a bit on this site.  It’s such an easy thing to do, really.  Somehow, though, y’all fucked it up.  People hate disco.  And not just everyone who wasn’t part of the era.  No, even people from that era look back and think, “What the hell was I thinking back then?”  So, you have taken song that everyone hates, and then had a bunch of soulless studio musicians - from whatever circle of Hell that gave us musak and Kenny G - sing a new version of the song, replacing the word “shake” with “shop”.  Fucking genius.

But no!  You weren’t done!  No camera shot must last more than 2 seconds!  Because that’s exciting!  Shop Shop Shop!  And pretty colors!  Yeah, every color of the rainbow!  Let’s get ‘em all in there in 15 seconds.  And I want LOTS of shots of people browsing on their computer!  Because people won’t understand we’re an online shopping site unless we show people web-surfing.  Hey, who’s that douchebag over by the water cooler doing karate chops?  I love it!  Let’s put him in the commercial!  And let’s have him using an optical mouse on glass - which can’t possibly work but fuck it!  You all had your chance to take the blue pill.  We’re taking this all the way!  Shop Shop Shop!  Hey Denise!  Wanna dance in a commercial?  How do you feel about wearing a baby-shit green pant suit that draws attention to your uteral mound?  Bada-bing!  You’re in it!  Shop Shop!

Shopzilla - I hate you.

Thanks to Stuart for the find!

Brilliant ad by Hallmark for their new Cards With Sound series (the ”tv ad” department did a much better job than the “name this card campaign” department, don’t you think?)  - cards that have clips of popular music play when you open them (as opposed to the bleepy Casio-like cards that were so fucking annoying).

I just crack up every time I see this guy.  They would have been hard-pressed to find a guy that looked less able to pull off Hammer moves (links to original vid.. you know you want to see it again!), yet execute them so flawlessly.

This ad especially resonates with me on a personal level, as it reminds me of the “concert I’m most embarassed I went to”.  Come on.. we all have one!  Get this line-up:  MC Hammer with openers En Vogue and… (wait for it!).. Vanilla-fucking-Ice!  Yes! En Vogue can sing, and Hammer puts on a great show, so I will defend them to this day, but I got nothing for Ice. Stupidity of youth?

Quick tip to Hallmark: if you’re going to spend a lot of money and effort promoting a new product, you might want to make a clickable link on the front page of your website instead of making me conjure the fat ghost of Perry Mason to figure out where to order a damn “card with sound”.  Oh, and have them in stock. Oh, and have more than 5 to pick from

Come to think of it, Hallmark is really fucking up this campaign! But great commercial, guys.

Of course! Just after I get done taking a small pot shot at Budweiser for having ads that are funny just for funny’s sake, they go out and create a beautiful piece of work like Swear Jar (from their Bud.TV site) .

Maybe it’s just me, but I really think you have to steer a commercial towards your product.  Just the other day while helping my Dad on his new house, he did something dumb that almost sent him tumbling off a 20 foot drop-off (Dad almost kills himself or a member of the family pretty much every weekend we’re out there.. this blog may be short-lived).  Anyway, I start singing that “Woo-hoo!  Woo-hoo-hoo!” like from the Vonage ads where people are doing stupid shit.  His reply: “Oh yeah, I love those commercials.  What are those for?”

If people don’t remember your commercial and link it with what you’re selling, what’s the point?  Bud has been guilty of this in the past, but Swear Jar is on the money.  Very funny, and everyone in the ad is working toward the common goal of enjoying a Bud Light.  The ad is almost compelling enough to make me forget that Bud Light tastes like piss.

Thanks to Inna A. for the link!

Sorry for the short hiatus, all.  Weekends are generally my time to catch up on posting, and my parents are now laying claim to them for free labor as they build their new house.  When your mother pulls the “I was in labor for {fill-in-the-blank} hours delivering you, not to mention subsequent back surgeries due to the pregnancy!” card, what can one possibly rebut with, honestly?  Absolutely nothing - you man up and grab a pneumatic nailer… and then shoot it at your little brother. :)

I was sent this ad quite awhile ago, but I have to post it anyway.  It’s just so well done, and I have yet to see it on TV so maybe it’ll be new to you.  Here’s Tiger Beer’s ‘Tasted it in this life’ spot.

This spot is great on a few counts.  First, there are no words - you can play this spot in any country without a reshoot.  Second, it’s culturally clever, playing into the Buddhist reincarnation belief.  This spot was made by a New Zealand ad agency, but I could see this really being a popular throughout Asia.  Show Jesus coming back to Earth for a Tiger Beer and US consumers would go apeshit, but Buddhists generally have a better sense of humor about things!  And lastly, this spot is humor that reinforces the product.  I love those Budweiser “Real Men of Genius” ads, but they have nothing to do with the product.  Showing a cat willing to stick his paw in a light socket to get some Tiger Beer, now that’s effective.

So, Buddha blessings to Saatchi & Saatchi’s New Zealand office for an ad well done.