Yeah, y’all are some crazy bitches!  I mean that in the most endearing of ways, of course. :)  I know that I am a smart ass, and sometimes a flat-out dick on this blog.  So, crazy bitches, I love ya.

First, a little back-story.  Clear last July, I posted an article on a little something called Silpada jewelry.  It’s basically a multi-level-marketing deal where women (and, I guess, a few fully emasculated men) throw parties in which their friends come over and are coerced into buying silver, turquoise, and coral products of debatable fashion sense.  Yes, ladies, I’m going to continue rattling those cages - deal with it.

Anyway, I wrote the post with a bit of a point to make but mostly in good fun, as should be evident by the mention of vampires and "gays and shrimp".  And further, I didn’t expect that many people to read the damn thing.  But lo and behold, the higher-ups at Silpada Hive Central must have search engine optimization skills that are directly proportional to their taste in jewelry - my tiny blog climbed to #3 on the search term, "Silpada"!

So, I now have loads of women searching for "Silpada" in Google and hitting my site.  And probably a few men - if you are one of those men, allow me to suggest you rummage through your wife’s purse and see if you can’t find your balls that she’s obviously taken from you.  Now, it’s not enough that these women and quasi-men are hitting my site.  Oh no, I’m really pissing some of them off and, by God, they’re going to tell me about it!  I believe we’re around 160 comments at present.  The subject matter has ranged from discussions on Silpada silver quality, to civic duty, to questions into my sexual preference, to the Hawaiian Monk Seal.. and most recently a war between the Lia Sophia and Silpada MLM Jewelry camps.

I highly recommend going through the comments section for a good laugh sometime.  But to the point:  lately there’s been a bit of a cat fight.  Pretty much in good fun, but ya know, once a woman accuses another woman of being 500 lbs…well, the silver medallions and Wilma Flintstone necklaces come off!  It’s a throw-down!  So, I had the two ladies at war send me pics to prove their lack of 500 pound-ness.

I will confess to the assumption that no women of Silpada could have any sex appeal (well, at least for a shallow Hal like me that chases younger women with rockin’ bodies).  But alas, a commenter by the name of Christy has "reprazented"!  Very hot indeed.  If she gives permission, I’ll let you all see for yourself.

The Lia Sophia side has produced their own champion, in a girl named "Mystery" (name not to be confused with that douchebag on that Pickup Artist show).  However!  As Mystery has herself admitted, she is not a rep for Lia Sophia!  Her mother is!  So, I must disqualify her as an official "Lia Sophia model".

So we have two dilemmas - on the Silpada side, I’m still thinking Christy’s hotness was just a turn of luck for the Silpada camp.  And as for Lia Sophia, they are still unrepresented.  Mystery represented well, but I simply can’t accept the entry if she’s not a rep.

So, will anyone accept the call to arms?  Many women on this blog have talked tough on their jewelry decisions, but few have actually put forth proof!  Pick your side, put on your favorite jewelry pieces, and send a pic! (”Contact the Author” at the bottom of this page)  Preferably in a state of partial-to-full nakedness. (I’m kidding!  I’m kidding!**).  If I get enough entries, I’ll create "Women of Silpada" and "Women of Lia Sophia" calendars.  Profits will go toward breast cancer research….and ball retrieval services for the men (men: no picture send-ins necessary, thank you).

**not really.. that would be awesome.

I would like to dedicate this post to “Sasha B”.  Friday evening, she became the first to post a comment on this site!  Congratulations to Sasha!  She had some astute observations regarding the the “Eclipse bisexuals” post.  An excerpt:

I am so sad that America has come to this. Promotion of promiscuity and bi-sexuality is disgusting and sinful. We are all sinners. The perversion of sex is just a sin, just as when I lose my temper and get upset is a sin. God can forgive us our sins, if we confess we have sinned, and accept his forgiveness. God sent His Son Jesus to die and take the punishment for our sins. Please accept His love, and…. find a church that teaches the Bible. My heart breaks for you, God has something wonderful planned for you if you will seek Him! Get to know Him! I’m praying for you right now. Sorry I can’t leave my email. I keep it private as I need to protect my family. I will check back to see if you leave any comments regarding what I have said. Anyway, just know that God has so much better things for you if you will learn to listen to His voice! In Christ’s love, and because I feel compelled to speak where I would normally just be quiet, an anonymous messenger breaking for a broken world.

Jesus.. about to hook up the threesome.  “Father, I don’t know where these two bitches came from, but thank you!“

Sasha, I thank you for your prayers.  If you could tell the Lord Jesus (or his divine messengers, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny) that I’m still waiting on the harem of bisexual women.. oh, but thank them for the 22-year-old Cuban girl last night with the sexy accent and the “Cubans Do It Better” babydoll-T that chose to help me “stay in practice” for the day when I finally do make that commitment, under the auspices of the Lord Jesus Christ, to spend the rest of my life with that special, special group of hot bisexuals, all between the ages of 20 and 26.  God is great.  Amen.

This is the weekend - this is when I post on whatever - I’m about to rant.  Feel free to ignore.  Most of you (again, “most of you” meaning “6 people”) know this, but there may be a couple Sasha’s out there that don’t understand, so let’s have a “come to Jesus” on AdChops.  This is a marketing/advertising review site free-for-all.  It’s just me - one guy - spouting my opinions on stuff.  I do not claim to be any kind of expert.  I do not claim to be an authority on anything.  I am not delivering you the results of focus groups.  I am a lowly ad/marketing veteran dishing out my personal opinions on our ad-saturated world.  I don’t seek consensus - I’m writing because I think I am right - on everything.  However, I don’t pretend to believe that you necessarily think that.  So hopefully, you are at least entertained.  I am not trying to convert anyone to anything.

Ad industry people looking for trends or ideas - I welcome you.  People that just want to know that one song to that one commercial - I welcome you.  People that find my posts mildly amusing - welcome.  But mindless sheep such as yourself, Sasha, Fuck off.  Spouting off bullshit about the “sin of sex” to save my soul, when your religion has been responsible for the murder of millions over the centuries, just makes you a massive fucking hypocrite.  You are full of shit (please see my post, On Bullshit).  Oh and if you really want to get technical, Sasha, God and Mary had premarital sex.  I have not read anywhere in your precious “Book of Fantastically Unbelievable Shit That in No Way Could Have Happened, Nor Is Even Internally Consistent” - or, “Bible” - about God even buying Mary dinner before knocking her up, let alone marrying her.  So, either God is totally down with “promiscuity” or he’s a hypocrite too.

Mary:  “mmm, God, that was awesome.  Wow!  Mind-blowing!  So, what are we doing tomorrow?  I thought we could go down to the farmer’s market and pick up some - “
God: “whoa whoa whoa..What do you think this was?”
Mary: ”well..umm..you said last night that you could see heaven in my eyes.. you said we’d spend eternity together!”
God: “well, technically I wasn’t lying.  But that’s just something we call ‘pillow talk’, baby.  I’m God.  I can’t be tied down right now.  I mean, after drowning all your asses awhile back there’s been all that water damage to clean up, I have a couple more cities that I have to rain down holy, cleansing ‘fire of God’s Wrath’ upon.  I’m already 300 years overdue-”
Mary: {sniff} {sob} “But… I think I’m pregnant!”
God: {poof}

I welcome comments.  Please - readers - go off on my posts.  Let’s throw down.  Tell me I’m on the money.  Tell me I’m waaay off the mark.  But Jesus-freaks and other self-righteous fucks, go to hell.  I have every confidence that, over the long haul, evolution will select against dim-witted evangelists such as yourself and humanity will be rid of you and your “Gays and Lesbians caused the World Trade Center attack” brethren.  Until that wonderful day though, stay the fuck off my website.  Your kind are the AntiChrist… well umm… metaphorically speaking, of course.

Just a quick hit.  Looks like SNL picked up on the German footballer sex toy scandal.  I mentioned it last week sometime.